Wow. There really isn’t a clean way of saying that is there? But it’s true. Hi everybody! Brakes here. While Gas is off steady chasin that paper, her majesty has allowed me to talk about our newest house update.
One thing we loved about our rental was the gorgeous, refinished hardwood floors. That wasn’t in the cards this time around, but we tried to see the bright side; now we’d inherited older, more experienced… even worldly… carpeted floors. They weren’t sexy and sleek like in our rental but we tried to appreciate them just the way they were. While Gas and I pined after our foxy hardwood of yore, Weez (much to Gas’s dismay) fostered a fast friendship with the wizened blue shag dressing the bedrooms.
We gave it our best shot but the carpets clearly weren’t the floors for of our dreams. It wasn’t them, it was us… We’d arrived at a different stage in our lives; we’d made (and then spent, on this God-Forsaken money pit) our million (***figure greatly exaggerated for dramatic sake***). We didn’t want to be tethered down by tired, worn carpeting… not when there are so many fruitful, young hardwood beauties out there just begging to be installed. So after a couple of months I drove down a discreet back alley to the den of inequity that all renovators know about but never discuss in polite company; I ventured to Lumber Liquidators.
I told myself that I just wanted to look. But when I took a gander at such a flagrant display of flooring flesh, I felt my resolve slipping. I knew this would be an expensive proposition and I suddenly felt guilty for hiding this trip from Gas. I was a bit nervous as I watched the salesman approach, not having done this before and all, but the host made me feel right at home. He assured me that all the hardwood is well taken care of and that people pay good money to spend time with them. So, when I was ready he gently lead me to the merchandise, enticingly lined up along the wall, and asked me to pick my pleasure. Do I go with something adventurous like a dark bamboo? Or a tantalizing blonde variety? Perhaps an exotic hickory? Hmmm….Then there was the question of size? Thin or thick? Was bigger really better? There was even a discount on the fake ones but they didn’t feel real to the touch, so I decided not to go that route. Besides, I knew Gas would never accept a fake. In the end I went with a solid wide-plank distressed oak. She wasn’t cheap and it only took maybe four minutes to make a commitment, but in the end, I knew she would be well worth the price. Now I just had to go home and tell Gas.
The days spent waiting for them to arrive seemed endless. After an appropriate 48 hours I broke down and called, but I only received a very coy voicemail. The next week, jilted, I called again. Another two weeks passed, but still no call. I was beginning to contemplate moving on (there are plenty of other flooring options in the sea!), but just as I started to browse various other hardwood ads, the call came at last! “Your hardwood will be delivered Tuesday,” they said. I immediately phoned our installers, and they assured us that while the transition(s) would be rough (no pun intended) that most couples quickly fall in love with their new floors. “Tell me something I don’t know! I’m already head-over-heels,” I sighed dreamily.
The installers weren’t kidding. There were definitely were some tough moments. Could I afford these floors? Would they mesh with our lifestyle? After all, if they can’t get along with my family then it won’t work…. Obviously Gas and the baby were my top priority. But with relief, I soon discovered that there was one compatibility issue that wasn’t a problem. Gas loved them too (I have the coolest wife ever!) and she embraced them as if they were her idea!
After the first day I thought to myself these floors have everything. We prepared a toast that night to welcome our new floors into our home. “May our relationship be modern enough to endure the times and old fashioned enough to last forever!” we sang as we carried ourselves over their threshold.
…We celebrated their arrival with a festive meal!
… And afterwards, we cozied up to them by the fireplace.
I know that, on these floors, we will all be one big happy family!