Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Puff Parenting

So we were all hanging around chatting at my Grandma’s wake, a traditional Irish shindig complete with whiskey, music, and laughter, when my cousin Steven, whom has an adorable daughter (LJ) 5 days older than Eloise, walked in a stared in horror at what I was about to do.

I had already noticed Sara, Steven’s gorgeous wife and one of my favorite cousin-in-laws, politely averted gaze, as she had been watching me “parent” Eloise all afternoon.  However Steven was raised in the same opinionated family I was and it did not even occur to him to refrain from commenting on what may be an unusual behavior management strategy I was employing to distract Weezy from both my chi-chis and my liberally-laced traditional coffee;  I was spreading out a line of Puffs a-la-Hansel-and-Gretel style, so that Weezy would crawl along and eat them.  Off the floor. 

So, not only was I bribing my child with food  so that she would leave me alone (to drink), but I was also letting her eat off the floor in what is arguably the worst flu-season since the times of the plague.  (Hmmm, when you put it that way, I can see where S&S may have been less than impressed.)

But try to look at things from my perspective, we had just finished ripping off the paneling in the bedroom when we got the call about my Grandma’s passing.  We left nails, dust, and wood shards all about and high-tailed it down to LA for her services.  I had a cranky, tired, bedraggled husband (I wish Brakes liked Puffs!) and my baby wasn’t any great-shakes either.  We slept in a tiny, creeky turn-of-the-century bed and Weezy slept in the closet (I realize S&S would never let their baby sleep in a closet.) because we learned the hard-way that if Weezy can see me, smell me, or hear me at night; she wants, nee needs, to nurse.  I am surprised I had any boob left at the end of our first night.  I skipped 1/2 my public Hail Marys at the Rosary and Weezy burped twice at the funeral.  Loudly; like the priest paused and excused her loud.  (S&S’s perfect girl sat primly on her mother’s lap and I swear she rolled her eye’s at Weezy’s antics.)  In summation; I’d had it!  I needed a break and if scattering Puffs on the floor while Weezy dove for them like a trained sea lion got me one!  So be it.  Don’t judge-- you would have done the same things.

It did make for some cute pictures though.



Tom said...

I think I can hear Gramma and Grampa chuckling, although she would tell you she didn't start the bribing with food/"everybody has to eat a pound of dirt by the time their eighteen" thing until at least her third child...Wubbin

SmartAssMom said...

That is simply a fabulous idea. Genius.

Sabreena said...

I wish I would have thought of the trail of puffs. I think I might use that on my next shopping trip to keep the boys focused and following me. Weezy looks super cute with her posse by the way. I also enjoyed the Brakes post. It got me thinking about having my husband do a guest post on my blog. It would shock the piss out of all of my 15 readers.