iMom

In April I had a baby.  In May another less important, though still life altering, event took place; I got an iphone.  My mom generously gifted me my new bff for my birthday.  I’ll be honest, I was suspect. I am not exactly technologically savvy and I have long looked askance at those people whose phones seem to be physically attached to their person.  I was quite comfortable with my old-fashioned Nokia flip phone.  It was sturdy enough to withstand the daily abuse of a toddler and fairly clumsy 20-something.  Plus it tucked nicely into my cleavage without disrupting the line of my cotton tee yet my vast chi-chi’s did not smother the volume while on speaker phone therefore negating the need for a head-set. Simple pleasures, people.  However after much hemming and hawing, I broke down and joined the dark side. 

Now, I am not sure how I ever got along without my trusty sidekick.  I knew I would enjoy the convenience of plugging the address into the MapQuest app rather than frantically rifling through paper directions and almost always, still ending up lost.  And I would be lying if I said I had never whipped out my fancy friend and did a quick Google search to prove Brakes wrong on some useless bit of trivia.  But what I had not anticipated is how my iphone would actually increase my productivity, motivate and inspire me in several different ways, and allow me to be a better mother. (Too much?) Overall, thanks to my phone, I spend less time on the internet (I typically browse during nursing sessions and I go days without turning on my laptop), I am far more organized with my calendar, shopping lists, and meal plans, right at my finger tips, which saves time and allows for more tea-parties and tickle sessions.  Also, for the first time in my life, I can run.  I was always the girl at the back of the track offering “help” to the asthmatics during the mile runs in PE.  But, I decided to give running one more shot after Olive was born just until I got cleared to get back into the pool. I was cleared to swim 3 months ago but I seem to have caught the running bug.  With the help of my favorite apps to track pace, mileage, etc., and the podcasts or music I stream to keep me entertained, I am up to 5 miles three times a week. And lastly, I am finally doing a better job of documenting my sweet girls’ childhoods and it is so much easier to keep in touch with those that I love; I can capture a quick picture of something cute and text it to Movy (my mom) lickity split and Eloise loooooves the FaceTime feature (she thinks its magic).  I just figured out how to download the photos from my phone to my computer and I’ve had a ball looking through all the fun we had this summer.  (This activity inspired the gushing about my phone.  The wine I am currently  sipping may also be contributing to the waxing poetic about an appliance. Sorry.)  Aren’t my girls cute? Also, what else am I missing? What are your fave apps? My number ones are Hulu, iMapmyRun, Pandora, yelp, igaragesale, and of course, Pinterest. What are yours?

Nightstand and Other Important Updates

Our nightstand issues have been an ongoing saga on the blog. They first debuted in this post, where I detailed how I effectively demolished mine in my new-baby-sleep-deprived state. We referenced them again here, when I lamented how Eloise loves to “reorganize” my nightstand and spread our valuables all over the house. Which valuables you ask? Why these, of course; Brakes’ Best Bargain of the Year! We all know that those valuables are VERY important!

Understanding the value of our valuables, and tired of finding them hidden in often-embarrassing places, Brakes gave me the okay to go ahead and purchase some new nightstands.

After a quick debate about budget, I sped to the only store that could possibly meet my style objectives and Brakes’ financial parameters; Good Ole Salvation Army. My budget of $25 may have seemed a little ambitious even for SA, but I happened to go on 50% off furniture day so in no time at all I scooped up some savagely gently used, solid wood kindling antiques. Brakes’ was a very cool end table with rounded edges and deco accents. For me, I chose a vintage sewing table with wobbly legs, but oodles of charm. I was confident that with a little love these beauties would shine (and keep Eloise out of our crap)!

And they did!

I love the storage solutions they provide and how well they complement the other parts of our room. Plus, with the addition of some handy-dandy baby locks, they keep our valuables protected and out of sight…

Too out of sight as it turns out…

Shortly after we finished the nightstands, Brakes and I embarked on another DIY project. We call this one Take Two! II will hopefully debut at the end of April!

My Sister

Today my gorgeous big sister, Meghann, turns 30.  She’s fit a lot of joy, love, experience, and accomplishment in her time on earth  thus far (and she only had my help for the last 28 years!)  I cannot wait to see what she does in the next 30! 

Love you, Bun!

Its Not What it Seems!

At Weezy’s birthday, when confronted with this:

 

I asked Nana Eileen to grab me the pack of wipes from my nightstand in the bedroom.  She returned with this:

 

Innocent enough, right? Until she opened the box and all of this sprung forth:

 

For the record, this is not a dildo; it is temporal lobe thermometer:

 

And this is not various tubes of lube and sensual massage oil, it is various tubes of diaper rash cream.  Hot, I know.

 

And these are condoms. I guess there is no baby-friendly excuse for these.  In fact, I am pretty sure they are babies mortal enemies.

 

Why are these kept in the wipes container?  Because of this:

 

Eloise has developed a fervent interest in re-organization and it is on her daily agenda to rearrange all of the items in and around my nightstand (she will literally drag things from other rooms and put them in my lotion box!) The wipes container is our way of baby-proofing our birth-control options!

To all you who snickered and sent us pointed looks at the party, we are flattered you would assume we’ve got such an adventurous sex life, but I hope this post clarifies any misconceptions.  

Now I have to go “change a diaper” … and for the record that really means change a diaper. 

PS: Just because its funny, I am going to share with you a little Brakes trivia.  What's the largest volume of condoms Brakes has ever purchased at once?  Any guesses?

Just under 1500.  He bought them online. In bulk.  Just after Weezy was born.  Hmm.  (Do you think he is ready for numero dos?)  Here is part of his stash.  

When they arrived in the mail, I opened the box, gave Brakes a smile and said, “My how ambitious of you!”  Bless his frugal heart.

Last Year’s Lessons

On March 20th my little girl turned one years old!  I’ve spent the weeks surrounding her big day pondering (when I wasn’t hot gluing plastic bugs onto planter boxes- more on that later) all that I have learned in the last year and comparing my old self to my new self- because make no mistake about it- in many ways I am an entirely different person. 

Here is an abbreviated list of lessons learned in the last 12 months:

1. I think I finally get physics.  7 pounds, 2 ounces can emerge from a small crevices given enough velocity. (You knew I wouldn't miss the chance to talk about my pachina- also more on that later ;)
2. Sleep is the magic elixir that makes me smarter, kinder, prettier, and a whole hell of a lot happier. 
3. Who knew Dads could be this sexy?
4. Your marriage will change when you bring another person into your family; it doesn't mean you’re weak or your marriage is weak, or that you are a bad wife, or you have a shitty husband.  It just means that you, the collective you, husband and wife, are re-learning how to be together and adjusting to the added changes and responsibilities.  It will take awhile to find your footing, but with patience, communication, motivation, and understanding, your marriage will become stronger than it ever was before.  Also, a lot of sex certainly helps.
5. Though I still cannot be bound, sturdier undergarments are going to be necessary until my little shark is weaned.
6. Renting is under-rated.  Just kidding.  Just kidding on the just kidding.
7. Baby crap will take over your house.  There is no getting around it, accept it and buy cute storage containment units.  (Non-parents: don’t be alarmed.  By baby crap, I mean gear- not actual poo.  We do not store poo in attractive baskets and such.  Most of the time anyways.)
8. You do not need 1/2 the baby crap you buy.  Eloise’s favorite birthday present was the silver ribbon that came on her add-a-pearl necklace from Auntie Bun (so cute!), and she lives in zip-up footie jams and she ignores her fancy light-up walker, preferring to push a little foot-ottoman around the house.  Baby gates and brown shirt are pretty much all she (we) requires!
9. Motherhood and selflessness do not need to go hand-in-hand.  When a new baby enters your world, you have no choice but to put your own wants and desires on the back burner.  But thankfully for me, I learned relatively quickly that to be the mom that Eloise deserved and to be the wife that Brakes deserved, I had to have the life that I deserved.  In the last year, I remembered that I love to swim, sew, work, write, wear fancy make-up, have fancy hair, and take long and luxurious bubble baths.  Giving up those things does not make me a better mother; taking the time, spending the money, doing whatever I have to do to feel human and find definition outside of my familial roles, is what makes me a better mother.  Last year Gas defined herself almost exclusively by the roles she played for other people, this year Gas (apparently talks in the third person and) is so much more than what she does.  As a result, I am a much, much stronger and more powerful woman than I ever thought I could be.
10. Hormones are like heroin.  (I am guessing- no actual experience with heroin. Ick.)  Do not underestimate their power.
11. Memories of the pain DO NOT fade, but your daughter’s dazzling blue eyes and the sound of her giggle certainly make you feel like it was worth it.
12. Brakes and I created a sweet, sassy, brave, fiery, smart, loving, gorgeous, funny, ballsy, baby girl.  My love for her is fierce and voracious.  I could never kiss her, hug her, squeeze, and smell her enough.  She is joy incarnate and I would never, never have fathomed that I could be this lucky.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hugs, kisses, and Thanksgiving wishes!

B, G, & Lil E

Thank you!

Brakes and I sincerely thank all of the veterans out there who have helped to make the US a wonderful country in which to raise our little girl. This country may have its faults but there is still no other place we would rather be and we are grateful for the brave men and women who serve our nation!

We salute you!

(This picture is an oldie but goodie!)